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how motherhood changes you
Emy

Emy

How motherhood changes you? 5 transforming secrets of a sahm

Motherhood is an ongoing journey. Everything in motherhood is all about growth, not changes. Even though the title of our article today is “How Motherhood Changes You,” I’d rather say how motherhood grows you, nurtures you and makes you feel seen.

Becoming a mother is probably a true bless- for some- and a dream for many. However, becoming a-stay-at-home-mom is a personal choice. The term “stay-at-home mom” carries both appeal and annoyance to me. It’s often confused with desperate-house-wives-kinda thing. In our modern society, stay at home moms have no value to the society.

Unfortunately, choosing to be a stay at home mom is undervalued and not recognized as the most important role a woman can ever play. A woman who prefers to climb the professional corborate ladder is more admired and respected by society. As if raising a responsible human being is something we should Not all support and admire.

The comparison between working moms, and stay at home moms makes me sick. Because there should be NO comparisons. Mothers should be valued, appreciated, seen and heard no matter their social status. All moms are equally loving and deserving of society’s respect.

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How motherhood changes you: Before and After( the mindset)

The challenges of becoming a mother in the new century have left so many of us with mental and emotional exhaustion. From scrolling through the fake picture perfect on social media, to many questions of whether or not you are doing a good job as a mom. The need for approval is both needed and uneeded. Many of us go through our days needing to hear few words of appreciation and recognition to feel we are seen, and what we do matter.

Sometimes we look at our older pictures searching for ourselves and wondering what happened. How I changed that much, where did she go with all her dreams and ambitions. At the same time, we look around us to watch our creations crawl, walk, and play and we pause to take it all in. At least that is how I feel.

How motherhood changed me? It changed me from the inside out. I’m no longer the old me. I’m a brand new woman who only wants the happiness of my family, my child and my husband and then me. Because I know if they are happy, Iam too!

Yet, there are days when I feel lost and confused. I don’t know who I am or what I want. I feel trapped and stuck. I long for the days when I took good care of myself and felt seen for me. I look back at my dreams and vision board and track what got ticked and what is long gone.

Changing or transforming? How motherhood changes you from the inside out

The physical and mental changes in a new mother are inevitable. Blossoming in the journey of motherhood is quite unique for each one of us. There is not a woman who said I’m the same as before. The responsibility of caring for someone else and needing that person to be better than you is empowering. There is nothing like loving someone unconditionally and expecting nothing in return. That’s the motherly love. Therefore, many of us chose to stay and look after our kids. our dreams are still there, but they have evolved and took different shapes and names.

Many of us were successful professionals. We had ambitions and dreams and we wanted to grow further in our careers. But we realized that when we grow in our careers, we will miss on the growth of our children.

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Embracing the transformation

The first few weeks of being a mother is like being on an emotional roller coaster. We don’t recognize ourselves, or our bodies. We don’t know how to cope with all the hormonal changes. Each one of us has a unique and different coping mechanism. Some shut down completely and sink in their helplessness not knowing what to do. Some turn to family and friends however fell preys to comparisons. And some others fight the changes with all their power not accepting or admitting the fact that” we will never be the same”.

“How motherhood changes you” is not just an article written to numb you but to tell you that we all feel the same. Accepting the changes and loving those changes are the first step towards enjoying this journey. Seeking an outside support when needed is also an important step towards healing. Many of us don’t know how to seek that help. Therefore, we are sharing few transforming secrets to love your new you.

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5 transforming secrets of a SAHM

1. Give yourself TIME!!!

Carrying a child and making a warm environment for him for 9 months is not for the weak. Pregnancy changes how you look, think, and feel. If you are a first time mom then the changes might impact you profoundly. You will need time to process the changes and accept them. Don’t rush things. And don’t burden yourself with many dreams and ambitions.

2. Live day by day

It’s insane the to do lists of mothers, they are never ending. If you ticked one box, you make sure to fill up the list with 3 more tasks. We all do that, that’s why we are always running on repeat and it feels like we never take breaks. My top tip here is to live it day by day. Your to do lists will regrow themselves. However, nothing is more frustrating to the child more than waiting for you to finish your to do list to enjoy a silly game with him.

3. Practice self love

Self love is in different forms and styles. When we say love yourself, we mean devote sometime for yourself. Practice self compassion and appreciate yourself. Priortize slef care. Those 10 minutes in solitude away from your kids are crucial for your mental health.

4. Rediscover yourself as a mama

Before being a mother, you prbably had hobbies, acivities and a whole world happening for you. After kids and responsibilities, ask yourself, what is your mama style now. Are you a chilled mom, are you a mom on schedule, are you an outdoorsy mama…etc. Knowing your style makes you appreciate yourself.

5. Love your new self

Many of us realized that staying at home is probably the right thing to. Setting aside careers we worked hard to grow in. Dropping everything even careers for motherhood is not a step back. It’s a step in a new direction towards newer and bigger goals. Dreams can evolve so as the dreamer. Don’t make anyone tell you anything else and make you regret taking that decision. Careers can always be regained but not our children’s childhood.

So, to answer the question how motherhood changes you.

Motherhood changes you in many ways. And while we may miss our pre-baby body at times, we wouldn’t trade this journey for anything. We would choose to be mothers every day, stay-at-home moms above anything else. To learn more, to give more, and love more, to be with our children every minute – we will take a couple of hours off though.

So tell me in the comments how motherhood changes you and if you want to change anything?

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