New moms need every bit of help and support in the beginning of their motherhood journey. How to help new moms can be overwhelming to most of us. In this article, discover 8 best ways-recommended by experts- to help new moms in their motherhood journey. We are also sharing real stories of some new moms and the things they wish were done to help them.
Why Helping a new mom can make a world of difference to her? It can either make or break her motherhood journey.
New mothers are full of worries, fear, expectations, and promises. Their expectation bars probably set too high, especially if they are alone from their partners or families.
Yes! They have probably read about the motherhood journey. They might have listened to their friends or relatives, even their moms. But unless they have the first hand experience, everything is still hypothetical.
How can we actually help new moms?
From sleepless nights to adapting to a new routine. From recovering to adjusting to their new lifestyle. Finding ways to organize their time, preparing feeds, booking jabs appointments. From how to change the baby to how to survive with a anew baby. New moms feel trapped and lonely.
Their doubts are so many, and the reassurance sometimes not even there.
For me, I was so scared to ask for help. I did not even know I needed help. I was comparing myself to other new moms around and on social media ALL THE TIME. They seemed perfect, happy and supported. I did not know how to cope with the transformation and my new lifestyle. I struggled to accept changes in my body and my lifestyle. I struggled listening to others giving me some parenting advice without asking them. I hated to look weak and vulnerable even though I was weak and vulnerable. When someone asked me how I was doing, I said I was alright when I was not. Even though I was often asked do you need help. I said “No thanks”, simply because I didn’t know how they can help.
At the beginning of this transformative experience, the support and understanding of loved ones can make a massive difference to a new mother’s life. Let’s discover how we can with the most supportive, creative and practical ways.
This article aims to provide valuable tips, practical advice, and heartfelt stories to help new moms navigate their journey with confidence, strength, and joy.
How to help new moms in the start of the journey?
1# Emotional Support:
Becoming a mother brings forth a whirlwind of emotions. Sometimes, just lending an ear and offering a shoulder to cry on can provide immense relief. Remember, new moms feel anxious, exhausted, or even guilty for not feeling entirely joyful. Encouragement and reassurance go a long way in helping them embrace their new role.
New and first time moms do not feel their best. Sometimes not entirely joyful. I did not feel that immediate bond with my daughter. I was so scared to express it to myself. Let go of sharing it with others. Not until one of my friends who gave birth to beautiful little boys a couple of years earlier shared her story. She told me that she did not have that immediate flood of emotions. Sharing her story with me lifted a sense of guilt and shame off my chest.
I’m sharing that to let you know that new moms are always TERRIFIED to share their feelings. It takes one strong person to talk out loud and share.
I learned after that to express my thoughts, to talk about my mental and emotional struggles. To open up and express my worries. It is empowering, genuine, and authentic. It encourages others to talk to stop lying to themselves and to stop denying they need help.
What can you “REALLY” do to help a new mother?
2# Giving Practical Help
The demands of caring for a newborn can be physically and mentally taxing. Practical help, such as cooking meals, doing household chores, or running errands, booking appointments, making phone calls…etc. can lighten their load significantly. Providing a nurturing environment where they can rest, recharge, and bond with their new baby is invaluable. Brewing a pot of tea and letting your new mom friend watch some TV and laugh while you rock her baby to sleep is probably the best thing you will ever gift her until her second child.
I was an idiot when I felt burdened by the house chores. I was worried about how the place looked like. While, I was a hot mess myself. I did not make the best out of my priorities or my needs. Thinking about that now, instead of offering a hot beverage to my guest. I should have asked my guest to make me a cup of tea to enjoy it while it is hot. I should have sit back and relaxed while my guests smooched my baby. I should have asked them to take my baby for a walk while I nap and recharge.
How to help a new mom from a distance?
If you are a full time mom yourself, or in a different country, or have a full time job, how can you still help new moms in your circle?
3# Encouraging Self-Care:
Self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity for new moms. Encourage your new mom friend to prioritize her well-being by taking short breaks, enjoying a warm bath, or engaging in activities she loves. By sending a gratitude card, a good article you read on how to prioritize her sleep and get enough rest. Send her a “Good Morning” text or “Mama you are doing great “everyday. Motivation and encouragement not only help new moms feel good, but also make them feel appreciated and supported. The effort the new mother does for her baby every single second should be noticed by her circle and it strengthens her bond with their little one.
4# Breastfeeding Support:
Breastfeeding can be challenging for many new moms. Even if it was easy for you, it does not mean it will be for other new moms. Offer non-judgmental support and help new moms seek guidance from lactation consultants or support groups. Listening to their concerns, offering tips, or being present during nursing sessions can make a world of difference.
In a previous post, I shared my whole experience. I did not know what to do or what to expect especially when it comes to nursing my new baby. I’m a strong advocate of breastfeeding and how important that is for both mom and baby. For so many health reasons and for bonding. I had no clue how to hold the baby and how to tell if the baby is latched. What I felt was pain and pressure. Not until my neighbor put me in contacts with her lactation consultant friend. It was one of the best help offered to me as a new mother from a distant. I will never forget her” Dawn” was a true dawn rose to my breastfeeding journey.
5# Help her with her time:
New moms house chores from cleaning to cooking is her biggest enemy. We are talking about a new mother who barely slept at night and hardly took a shower in the morning. Her day is long and tiring, adding cleaning and cooking to the equation is quite daunting and nerve racking. But sitting in a clean house is important to bring the calm and peace to her mind. If you can’t be there to do some washing up or some laundry then you can hire someone to help her with that and buy her time. Outsourcing for new moms are the best support you can do for her from a distance.
How to REALLY support new mothers?
6# Paying attention to early signs of mental health struggles for new moms.
- Mental Health Awareness: Postpartum depression affect many new mothers. Educate yourself and others about the signs and symptoms. Encourage seeking professional help if needed. Sharing stories of resilience and triumph can help destigmatize mental health struggles and provide solace to those going through similar experiences.
- Do NOT belittle her anxiety or her demands for visitors to be around her baby. I have been there!! A new mother does not get to sleep, it’s a fact. And if she did, she would wake up with panic and anxiety attacks when the baby is NOT crying. Do you know how many times we would get up and physically check if the baby BREATHING. A new mother would wake up the baby to make sure the baby is alive, I DID THAT. Imagine putting the baby back to sleep? I will spare you the details.
- Wash your hands and get clean before holding the baby: This is not about you or whether you are clean or not. It is about the new mother and her mental health. If she said no kissing, respect that. If she said smoke 2 hours before popping in, then whatever she says it goes without arguments. I put some strict rules for our guests and they were all supportive, not because I was a coco- new mommy but because I was worried, anxious and scared of everything. Remember, it is about her, not you.
- STOP comparing your experience to hers. It is not only self-centered but quite annoying. The last thing a new mom wants to her is how you struggled more than. It is not a contest or a competition. So, stating how much of a hero you were does not help her in anyway, it probably pushes her further down into her despair hole.
You can help your new mom friend by booking her a session with a therapist. Or take the baby for a stroll while she has her one-one session.
In my experience, I was not aware that I was struggling until my sister in-law spotted that. She helped and supported me from a professional perspective as she is a mental health nurse who specializes in postpartum. Even though she had a full-time job, she did her best to visit, talk, and listen to me for hours. She would look after the baby while I catch on my rest. By doing that, she has reassured me and made me feel loved and supported. I realized then that admitting the struggle is a brave thing to do for yourself.
Other creative ways to help new moms
7# Creating a supportive Community:
Connect new moms through online support groups. These communities foster understanding, provide a safe space to share experiences, and offer practical advice. Sharing stories of triumph, challenges, and the joys of motherhood can be empowering and uplifting for all. As well as sharing relatable stories of struggles can also be supportive. Because let’s face it, it is not always butterflies and rainbows.
Support groups for new moms can make a positive difference to their lives by arranging activities, providing tips and hacks. Accountability partnership and many things to share in the group can be the most support you can offer to full time moms, burnt out moms, or even expat moms and lonely moms.
8# HELPING NEW MOMS EMOTIONALLY.
- Empowering their Choices: Respect new moms choices regarding parenting styles, feeding methods, and other important decisions. Understand that what works for one may not work for another. Supporting their choices helps boost their confidence and encourages a positive parenting journey.
- Celebrating Milestones: Every step in a new mom’s journey is worth celebrating. Whether it’s the first smile, successful breastfeeding, or a 3 hours night’s sleep, sharing these milestones brings joy and motivation. Be present, capture these moments, and help create lasting memories.
- Taking pictures of her and her new baby: Not a surprise, a new baby highjacks new parents phone. Especially new mothers, they keep taking pictures of their babies like a paparazzi. But they often forget taking pictures of themselves with their baby.
At the end, the journey of motherhood is both beautiful and challenging. By providing unwavering support, understanding, and practical help, we can empower new moms to embrace this transformative time in their lives. You can help and support new moms in anyway and everyway you know. Let us share our experiences, stories, and tips to create a nurturing environment where every new mother feels embraced, valued, and capable. Remember, a little kindness and empathy impacts a new mom’s life.
Share this article and spread the love. Because together, we can significantly impact the lives of new mothers and their precious little ones.