Being a mother is setting yourself in a survival mode day in and day out.
On the otherhand, thriving in motherhood without screaming might sound like a far-fetched dream.
How to scream without scarring my kids is one frequently asked question inside the mom community, at least the ones I’m member of.
When it’s inevitable, we REALLY need to vent and scream but without damaging or affecting our children self esteem. Then, how to yell and scream without scarring or scaring our kids? In this article, we will tackle this sensitive topic and put you at peae with yourself.
But let me tell you mama, if you have never passed through a moment of anger and wanted to scream, yell, or shout at your kids to vent pressure, stress, or frustration, you are my absolute HERO!!!
Motherhood is a beautiful and rewarding journey. But let’s be honest, it’s not always butterflies and unicorns. It can be incredibly FRUSTRATING.
When stress and frustration build up, finding a healthy outlet to let off steam and scream without scarring or scaring your kids becomes crucial.
Even though, I’m advocate for positive parenting, I’d like to say that ” No mother passed through parenting without yelling or screaming at her kids.”
Hand on heart, we all screamed at our kids at some point.
If your kids listen and obey without tantrums, consider yourself lucky!
What do we do in times of frustration?
As burnt-out moms, we scream not because we hate our kids, but because we love them and we want them to listen to us.
While screaming might seem like a tempting option. Finding ways that won’t leave negative effects on our children is crucial. We do struggle, get frustrated, get angry, and need to scream to keep our sanity.
However, screaming at our kids creates angry children, insecure and unhappy teenagers, and sometimes aggressive or depressed adults.
Practical tips on how to scream without scarring your kids
In this blog post, we’ll explore tips and hacks for struggling moms to scream without scarring or scaring their kids. And hey, we’ll throw in some humor along the way!
Discover later in this blog what my daughter’s pediatrician told me about her motherhood experience. Besides, some pro tips on dealing with pressure and mom guilt.
Can I scream without scarring or scaring my kids?
Yes! If you do it right.
How to vent anger and yell or scream without scarring?
- Create a “Scream Pillow”: Sometimes, all you need is to let it all out. Designate a special pillow as your “scream pillow.” When you’re alone and feeling overwhelmed, bury your face in the pillow and scream as loudly as you need. It’s a fun and safe way to release frustration without alarming your little ones. Tried & works!
- Release with Laughter: Laughter is the best medicine, even when stressed. Turn to humorous outlets to lighten the mood. Watch a comedy movie or TV show, read funny books, or follow amusing social media accounts. Laughter not only reduces stress, but also sets a positive atmosphere for your kids.
- Clean your house: Yes! You read that right. Cleaning is one proven theraputic activity. Tried and proven! Next time you need to yell or go Soprano, grab your vacuum and involve your little munchkin.
- Indulge in a “Mom Time-Out“: When you feel like you’re on the verge of exploding, take a “Mom time-out.” Find a quiet space in your home, away from the kids, and give yourself a few minutes to breathe deeply, gather your thoughts, and regain composure. Use this time to recharge and positively refocus your energy. Find something you have a passion for and do it to recharge.
Human connections and anger release
- Connect with Other Moms: Reach out to other moms who understand the struggles. Join online communities, attend support groups, or organize playdates where you can share your experiences and find solace in the company of like-minded moms. Sometimes, a friendly conversation can provide much-needed relief. If you happened to be in an environment where you were made ashamed or judged as a mom, it is not the right environment for you. Look elsewhere to find a supportive crowd.
Choose a community where you can talk and share freely without being judged or made ashamed to share. Tell your friends how they can help you, and they will.
- Engage in Physical Activity: Exercise is an excellent stress-buster. Find a physical activity that suits you, whether going for a brisk walk, practicing yoga, or dancing to your favorite tunes. Not only will it help you blow off some steam, but it will also boost your mood and overall well-being.
- Get some sleep and rest well: It might sound like it has nothing to do with the subject, but sleeping recharges you in every possible way. When you are not well rested, you are easily triggered and more snappy.
- Establish “Quiet/ Calm Time”: Set aside a dedicated time a day as “quality time” for you and your kids. During this time, encourage your children to engage in independent activities like reading, drawing, or puzzles. Use this opportunity to indulge in a relaxing activity, such as reading a book, taking a bath, or enjoying a cup of tea. This way, everyone gets a chance to unwind.
Educate yourself on motherhood and know your triggeres
- Read some parenting books: Get some parenting books especially made for moms like “Calm mama, Happy baby” to get some insights of how to deal with negative emotions?
- Practice Deep Breathing: Deep breathing exercises have calming effects on the mind and body. When you feel stress building up, take a moment to inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this process a few times, and you’ll feel the tension dissipate.
- Create a Personal Sanctuary: Designate a small corner of your home as your sanctuary. Fill it with calming elements like scented candles, soft cushions, or soothing music. Retreat to this space whenever you need a moment to yourself and allow the peaceful ambiance to rejuvenate your spirit.
- Write It Out: Writing can be an incredible outlet for releasing emotions. Keep a journal or start a blog, where you can express your thoughts, fears, and frustrations. Pouring your heart out on paper can provide a sense of relief and clarity, all while leaving a positive impact on your children as they witness you embracing healthy coping mechanisms.
- Seek professional help to find coping startegies: asking for help is a sign of strength, it sets a great example for your children. If you find yourself full of frustration and anger don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or a counselor can provide valuable guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
What to do when things get TOO much? How I scream without scarring my daughter?
Sometimes, when Lilly doesn’t want to let go, be put down, play independently, take a nap, or even watch her favorite show. I run to bury my face in my pillow and scream until I can’t anymore. Other times, I go to the kitchen and turn on the blender to make a smoothy. Trust me, it helps!
But I don’t always have the time to run to the kitchen or to my pillow to scream.
I screamed at my baby. Did I damage her?
Clearly, like many mothers, it’s one of my greates fears. For example, yesterday when my Lilly refused to lay down to change her butt-butt to go to her doctor’s appointment. While, I’m doing my absolute best to clean her bottom and remove the poopy diaper. Lilly decided to dip both of her heels in the poop and roll over to stand up. The scene looked like a wrestling Tai Chi match. And Lilly was winning.
Now she is screaming and – I’m yelling at her to sit down and not to move. Oh, I can’t pin her down, I can’t remove the poppy diaper, and she is about to fall. She is pulling my hair to stand up. I could not control myself any longer. It’s happening!! Now, we are both screaming like maniacs on top of each other.
It was not a pretty view to watch. I regret doing that, and it kept bugging me all day. Did I damage my baby?
“We all scream at our kids”, Doctor said!
When I went to her pediatrician appointment to follow up with her japs. The first thing the doctor asked “How are you today?” I burst into tears and told her about my eventful and not-so-happy-morning with Lilly.
I feel like a shi*ty mom because I was screaming at my daughter earlier today.
Dr. Desilava said “Oh dear, we all scream at our kids”. I asked her if she did scream at her kids before. She replied of course! We are humans, we can’t always be nicey nicey and positive.
Give yourself a break and breathe. She continued “I hear my poor neighbor scream and yell at her kids and I feel for her. We all have been there. Look at Lilly, she forgot it, she loves you and she always will. But you need to forget and forgive yourself and move on”.
How to scream without scaring or scarring your children?
Being a mom is a demanding role, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times. Whereas, it’s the right thing to treat our kids with respect to set a proper example for them. It’s crucial to find healthy ways to vent stress and frustration.
Clearly, screaming all day long is damaging. However, to scream without scarring is the point to understand when you are out of control and you need to do something about it.
Also, It’s important to apologize to our kids when we lose control. Owning our mistakes and seeking forgiveness teaches our chidren values like compassion, empathy and forgiveness.
By incorporating these tips and hacks into your routine, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the challenges of a bad day while maintaining a positive and supportive environment for yourself and your little ones.
Remember! We are not perfect, no one is, and no one will ever be. While we do our best to provide, raise, and parent, we also have lots to worry about.
Balancing our environment is key to successful parenting for every new mom at the beginning of her journey in motherhood. Avoiding burnout and finding ways to take care of yourself contribute to your level of tolerance and patience with your kids. Always remember, you can’t recharge from a dead battery, and you can not pour from an empty cup. When you are drained and burnt out, it is easy to snap and get angry about the slightest things.
Okay, you screamed , then what?
The porpuse of this article is to make you forgive yourself and let you know that you are not alone and we all scream and yell. Yet, keeping calm is the norm and having one setback or two is just an incident, not the lifestyle.
Our children are resiliant, and some kids won’t listen unless you are loud. Kids test us as parents, and push boundaries to see how far they can go. And that is amazing. They are smart human beings.
If you ever searched the effects of your anger on your kids, it means you are an amazing mom and you care. So,forgive yourself and move on and apologize to your kids when you are out of order and do not dwell on the incident. You won’t damage your kids if you screamed and yelled couple of times.
So go ahead, scream without scarring, or damaging your kids but in style. Laugh, and find solace in the journey of motherhood. You’ve got this mama! Cheer up and have a funny screaming session with your baby chasing a butterfly, or jumping in a muddy puddle. Let your hair fly in the air and run after your little munchkin on a crazy afternoon. Scream away your negative feelings without scaring or scarring your kids.
Let me know what is your magic way to vent and release pressure, I’m eager to know.