One year of YOU! Confessions of a new mother.

To the love of my life, the joy of my being, the apple of my eye.

To my one and only, my daughter Lillyana,

As I sit down to write this letter, I cannot believe that a whole year has gone by since you came into our lives. You have brought so much joy, laughter, and love into our family, and I am beyond grateful to be your mother.

You have brought a unique and different type of love, we haven’t known before. Love that is pure, unconditional and does not know limits.

This past year has been a rollercoaster of emotions. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was overwhelmed with excitement, anticipation, and a healthy dose of fear. Giving birth to you was the most challenging, empowering, and the top emotional experience of my life. I was in awe of your tiny little body, your silky smooth skin, your soft naturally styled hair, your perfect little fingers and toes, and your beautiful angelic face.

The first few weeks were a blur of sleepless nights, endless feedings, and diaper changes. I was exhausted, emotional, and unsure of myself as a new mother. I did not have any answers. But with each passing day, I grew more confident in my ability to care for you. I learned to trust my instincts and follow my heart. Oh, and my love to you was growing by seconds, sometimes my heart was going to explode.

Watching you grow and develop over the past year has been nothing short of miraculous. I have been amazed by every little milestone you have reached, from rolling over to crawling, to taking your first steps. From lifting my hand and laugh, to gazing deeply into my eyes conversing with emotions and searching for something special. You are curious, adventurous, and always eager to explore the world around you. And very determined to make things go your way. I wonder where you get that from? LOL

Carrying you around, watching people’s faces grinning and smiling when looking at you, fills my heart with gratitude and endless thankfulness to God’s greatest gift. And yes! You have that power on people to enchant them and make them fall in love with you instantly.

Of course, it has not all been sunshine and rainbows. There have been days when I have felt overwhelmed, frustrated, and unsure of what to do. There have been times when I have snapped at you out of exhaustion, pressure, burnout, lack of support or stress. But no matter what, my love for you has never wavered.

As your first journey around the sun has passed, I cannot help but feel a little sad that this first year has gone by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday that you were a tiny newborn, completely dependent on me for everything. Now, you are a thriving, independent little girl, eager to explore the world on your own.

Looking back on this past year, I am filled with gratitude for every single moment. The sleepless nights, the endless feedings, the diaper changes, the snuggles, the giggles, and the countless memories we have made together. I am grateful for the way you have changed me as a person and taught me to be patient, calm, compassionate, and loving.

As you embark on your second year of life, I cannot wait to see what adventures await us. I look forward to watching you continue to grow and develop into the amazing person I know you will become. No matter what challenges or obstacles we may face, I know that our love for each other will see us through.

Even though, I want you to grow, explore and learn; a selfish part of me want you to remain my small baby girl. I’m so proud of you, my darling. You are my biggest motivation to work hard every single day on myself to be better than the day before to make you proud of me as well.

I thank universe with every single cell of my being that it brought to me. I thank all the past years with their ups, downs, frustrations, tears and experiences, because they rewarded me “YOU”. I would not change anything if you are not my end result.

My baby girl, I want you to thrive, grow, evolve and shine. I want you to remain strong willed, and brave, and unique. I want you to know that I will always be there for you, no matter what. I want you to be sure that my love to you is utterly pure with no limits, conditions, or judgements.

Thank you for being my daughter, my greatest joy, and my greatest accomplishment. I love you more than words can express.

Love, Mommy