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why is motherhood so difficult
Emy

Emy

Why is motherhood so Difficult in the new century?

I stand here today in the garden of life, marveling at all the beautiful flowers—moms of every kind: biological, working, single, and stay-at-home moms. Being a mom in this day and age is no walk in the park, that’s for sure. It makes me wonder,”Why is motherhood so difficult?”

Therefore, on Mother’s Day, I want to congratulate myself and all of us for doing the most amazing job in this world: being moms.

I hugged my mother and thanked her for raising the three of us when times were different. I felt an overwhelming surge of gratitude for all she’s done. Raising three kids in an era where parenting manuals were more like rare mystical artifacts, she weathered storms with grace that I can now only aspire to. Motherhood was a lot harder, or maybe easier, I can’t decide. I also hugged my daughter and thanked her for choosing me to be her mother.

why is motherhood so difficult

Is Motherhood a dream for all girls?

I dreamt about being a mom since I was six years old, hugging my dolly and taking her everywhere I went. Back then, I thought being a mother was all about matching outfits, going shopping, and taking lots of pictures.

Little did I know that motherhood would come with a side of parenting chaos, public tantrums, and a fair share of defiance. I mean, who knew my little bundle of joy would find rolling on the floor in public places a hilarious pastime? And let’s not even get started on her newfound love for dancing with a soiled nappy dangling between her legs. Ah, the joys of motherhood!

Take today, for instance. In the midst of trying to wrangle my toddler, who’s just one day shy of her second birthday, I found myself screaming not once, but 15 times. Why, you ask? Well, because she’d rather stand ten feet away, giving me the old stink-eye, than take a few steps towards me for a nappy change. Happy almost-birthday to my little mischief-maker! Here’s to another year of unpredictable adventures in parenting!

motherhood

What if motherhood was a bit easier?

I keep wondering, what if motherhood was NOT that difficult? What if my toddler would listen to me from the first or even the third time? Why does it have to be 20 times before I snitch her like a Cheetah? Why does it have to be a battle of power between two unequal powers? I’m the weakest one, by the way! I always lose. I shout, I scream, and then I cry for shouting and screaming. I take her in my arms every time, apologize, and cry. I kiss her little angelic cheeks and whisper, “I love you,” in her ears. And my mind goes absent, and I start asking myself, “Why is motherhood so difficult?”

Why is motherhood SO DIFFICULT to millennials?

I can’t just not shout when my daughter looks at me, defying my “NO, don’t touch it, it’s dangerous” or “STOP, CARS!” Or “COME HERE NOW!” every time she runs away before changing her nappies. I also cannot not accept shouting. I wanted to be a cooler mom, a mother who is chilled and never shouts or threatens. I’ve read dozens of books about positive and modern parenting. I’ve written and lectured about positive parenting, and yet I succumb to the old, ugly scream and be an authoritative parent and show baby who is boss.

why is motherhood so darn hard

I’m not a boss. I’m just a die-hard loving mama who wants to change her daughter’s nappy in peace, who wants her NOT to bang her head on the floor every time I tell her “No, you can’t have it.”

I keep asking myself, what am I supposed to do? Raise a spoiled entitled human being and buy my peace, or keep shouting and keep saying “No” and really make my days harder?

I ask myself every day, as I sometimes lose my sh*t, did I scar her? Did I damage her? Did I affect her self-esteem?

Is motherhood so difficult for dads too?

My husband told me today, “Tough, she needs to learn. You are her mother, not her friend. She needs to hear ‘No,’ and she needs to hear you shouting.”

However, what if I want to be her friend and her mommy? What if I want to be the closest person on earth for her to confide in, every little silly fear and her biggest nightmare? We were once one! I don’t want her to separate. I’m always in fear if she is hurt. I want her to be the best girl in this entire world. I look at her and get amazed. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m her mother.

She is just too perfect even with her tantrums and her strong will, her long stare at things she wants to destroy to discover and explore. Her little tiny hands are too perfect when she holds anything huge and puts it on her beautiful ear, pretending it’s a phone and starts a conversation with an imaginary person.

I’m just so proud of her, and I want many of her. It might sound crazy. Maybe I am. I sound like an emotional mother who does not have a grip and loses control. But I’m also a loving mother who is doing her absolute best for her child. Yes, I ask myself why motherhood is so difficult and what if things were a bit easier. But would I change anything? No!

I would not change anything, maybe just want my daughter to come to me to change her nappy, or wipe her nose, or to let me feed her. Is it too much to ask?

why is motherhood so difficult

If motherhood is so darn hard, shall we stop making babies?

I sometimes feel for those who opt out of motherhood. I used to judge women who say, “We don’t want to be mothers,” due to different reasons: economy, politics, whatever reasons they have. But I also started to think that maybe they know motherhood is so difficult, that’s why they don’t want it.

For me, I love being a mom. I just love it. I adore my daughter. I love dressing her up, I love telling her a story, I love my role in life. Yes, I struggle. I struggle when I don’t know whether what I’m doing is right or wrong as a mom. I struggle when I shout and scream. I struggle when I cry because I shouted and screamed. I struggle when I’m worried about her now and tomorrow. I struggle because I want this world to be a nicer place for her. And now, if you ask me, shall women stop being moms and is motherhood worth it?

Yes, motherhood is so damn difficult, but so is everything that is worth the effort and the work. It’s worth the time, the love, the effort, and I would not have it any other way.

5 best parenting books for new moms

Discover 7 Ways To Make Motherhood A breeze

And for those moms out there who find motherhood overwhelming, here are a few ways to make it a bit easier:

  1. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups when you need help or just someone to talk to.
  2. Prioritize Self-Care: Take some time for yourself each day, even if it’s just a few minutes to relax and recharge.
  3. Set Realistic Expectations: Remember that you’re doing the best you can, and it’s okay to not be perfect. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your children.
  4. Ask for Help: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, whether it’s from your partner, friends, or hired help.
  5. Take Breaks: It’s okay to take breaks when you need them. Give yourself permission to step away for a moment and come back refreshed.
  6. Practice Gratitude: Focus on the positives and be grateful for the moments of joy and love that motherhood brings.
  7. Forgive Yourself: Remember that you’re only human, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Forgive yourself and learn from them.
why is motherhood so difficult

Motherhood may be challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. So, to all the moms out there, keep doing your best, and remember that you’re not alone.

On this special Mother’s Day, I want to extend a heartfelt congratulations to all mothers out there. Whether you’re navigating the early stages of motherhood with sleepless nights and diaper changes, or you’re a seasoned mom guiding your children through life’s ups and downs, your dedication and love are truly commendable. May this day be filled with moments of peace, love, and joy for you, wherever you are on your motherhood journey. Remember that you are appreciated, cherished, and supported, today and every day. Happy Mother’s Day!

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